Male sexuality has been seen as a negative thing,
mostly by men inculcated with sexual shame and strident feminists with an axe to
grind. But in its purest forms male sexuality is a wonderful force for good, a
dynamic source of energy that can move mountains, and a healing energy that can
unite the sexes.
Changes in a man's sexuality
as he ages
One of the interesting pieces of information all
middle-aged men need to know about is the male
This is a period of time in a manís life when
his testosterone level drops and a variety of symptoms may develop in response
to this decline in hormone.
Thereís an interesting article here about how one
man discovered that he was experiencing a male andropause:
They basically describe the symptoms of the
andropause as tiredness, loss of motivation, irritability and depression,
physical weakness, muscle wasting, dry skin, and loss of libido, although there
What Iíd also add to this list is an increase in
weight, which is very common when menís metabolic rate declines, often a product
of testosterone deficiency.
Itís not easy to come to terms with these
changes, since they involve a loss of identity of the most men, but it is
possible to alleviate the symptoms by means of self motivation, testosterone
supplementation, and appropriate weight loss programs.
Even if it isnít, one of the things the website will do for you is to give you a
lot of information about the physiology of male and female bodies and how and
why the requirements for weight loss are different between them.
It Is Important To Recognize When A Man May Be Having A
The mid-life crisis is a phenomena that is often
treated as a joke. When it hits real people in their lives, however, it has the
potential to be very destructive.
The symptoms can be debilitating on their own.
When a man is with a partner who does not understand them, they can trigger the
break down of a relationship. Because of this, it is critical for anyone to be
able to recognize the signs of midlife crisis in men.
There is no single strict criteria that a man has
to meet to be said to be experiencing a
There are a lot of themes that tend to arise in
his life as a part of it, though. The middle stage of life is often when a man
begins to look closely at how much he has achieved in life compared to what he
hoped to do when he started out as a boy.
In many cases, there is a significant gap between
the two. Even when the gap is not large, it is often the case that he looks at
his life and realizes that the professional achievements that he fought so hard
to win are less fulfilling than expected.
If a man begins to seem restless and dissatisfied
around the middle of his life, it is important to try not to take it too
Those who are in this situation often experience
symptoms that are much like depression, and they can even go through a kind of
mourning as they work to accept that the lives they dreamed about will not
It is very easy for a manís life partner to
assume that these feelings mean that he is unhappy or resentful about the life
that they share. In reality, though, it is just a natural adjustment period.
Understanding this can go a long way toward
reducing the pain and the friction in the relationship over this issue.
It is natural that some men will reach a stage in life where they realize
that they are mortal and that some goals may simply be beyond their reach.
This can be a difficult adjustment, and it sometimes requires the guidance of a therapist.
The important thing is to try to be supportive of
the men in your life, and not to take it too personally if they seem to suddenly
become unsettled with life. It is not abnormal, and it is something that you can
work through together.
Signs Of The Midlife Crisis In Men
When you hear the term Mid life crisis in men,
chances are you think of trophy wives and fancy little sports cars. Jokes are
made about this transition period, but it is actually something that should be
taken seriously. This time in life isnít all bad either.
The term midlife crisis may
have been introduced by
Jacques in 1965. He defined this as a time when adults come to realize that life
is moving along at a rapid rate and they are mortal.
Others credit this term to Erik Erickson. No
matter who gets the credit though, a midlife crisis is a time when people stop
to take a look at their overall life.
This may come out of the blue or it may result
from a major life occurrence, such as the death of a parent or the youngest
child leaving the nest for good.
Mid life crisis symptoms vary greatly from person
to person. Some find they are unable to sleep while others want to do nothing,
but stay in bed. Morbidity often rears its ugly head and concentration may be a
thing of the past.
Regrets are not uncommon during this stage of
life and men find they have sharp longings for a particular item or person. You
may find that you are struggling with the answers to big questions, such as,
ďWhat am I doing with my life?Ē
A majority of men experience a midlife crisis.
This transition period frequently involves work and family, but it can affect
other areas of life also.
You may begin questioning your economic status or
religion may change in terms of how it affects your life. Goals and priorities
are reevaluated at this time and dreams may be followed up on. Lives change
drastically at this time and this can be very tough for all involved.
A manís response to a midlife crisis depends in
part on the support he receives from others. If no support is received,
depression may result. What are the signs to look for and what needs to be done
when you become depressed?
Symptoms of depression include feelings of
hopelessness, pessimism, helplessness, guilt or worthlessness. If you no longer
enjoy activities you have in the past, you may be depressed.
Changes in eating or sleeping habits have been
noted with depression and the same is true of restlessness or irritability. If
you find you are depressed, seek the assistance of a professional.
Your doctor can help you get through your midlife
crisis and depression. Therapy helps as do antidepressant medications. The time
has come to make changes in your life. You are in a whole new stage and it can
be a great one. Itís all a matter of how you deal with these changes and where
you want to go.
MOVEMENT INTO SOVEREIGN
What Iíve come to understand as Iíve got older is
that certain things have to happen in a certain order for a human being to
evolve into a mature ďelder.ď
Now when I talk about mature elder, I am using
the archetypal model developed by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette in
their book King Warrior Magician Lover. You can see a more
modern interpretation of these ideas in
You may think itís strange that the whole
humanity can be distilled down to certain fundamental patterns of behavior and
ideology. In actual fact, when you think about it, thereís nothing mysterious
about this at all.
The human species is not divided into races,
because each and every human being can reproduce with each and every other human
being. There is no species barrier of any kind. We are, in short, more
similar than we are different.
If itís true that we are more similar than we are
different (and it is) then what follows? Are we similar in other ways besides
our fundamental reproductive biology? For example, how about the similarities
that might exist in the fundamental way in which our minds operate?
The fundamental structure of the brain is the
same in every human being. So itís likely that there are certain patterns of
operation which are commonplace to all of us.
These are archetypal patterns which could easily
have evolved as a common aspect of human psychological development.
By that, I mean not only the psychological
development not only over time for the entire species, but over time for each
individual member of the species.
Young members of any species have completely
different emotional, physical, sexual and care needs to the older members. Itís
equally obvious that people move from a place of childhood to a place of
maturity through different stages of life. Each of these has certain uniform
features, regardless of the society in which you examine them.
We can therefore take archetypal modeling as a
basis for humanity and how it operates. This includes its evolution from a state
of immaturity to a state of maturity.
Carl Jungís model of elderhood suggested this is
a time in which an individual ďoughtĒ to move into a space of joy and blessing.
If course, his sexual drive may lessen, so he may need the
help of his female partner to enjoy sex as he has done in earlier years.
An elder, you see, is able to accept events and
experiences which in earlier life would have caused an emotional reaction of
This is the wisdom of elderhood: the
understanding about what matters and what doesnít. The wisdom of knowing the
significance of events and dialogue and exchanges between individuals.
Thereís a great deal of writing on the Internet
about elder wisdom. In essence itís internal evolution to a place of stability.
This is a place where the essence of life is truly understood.
From that place of wisdom and stability, the
elder man or woman is empowered to give blessing to the younger men and women
This is an interesting theory. Many of the
evolutionary stages which take an individual from immaturity to maturity can get
blocked. Then, the evolution into elderhood canít take place, and the midlife
crisis may develop.
This is generally portrayed as a time of crisis
caused by a man slowing down in his 50s.
This is when men realize that things which
sustained his identity as a younger man mean nothing. For example earning money,
fucking women, competing with other men, and so on, can no longer sustain him.
That's mostly because heís no longer able to indulge these drives in the way
that he once did.
Now I actually believe that the midlife crisis is
an essential part of male development. I think itís caused by the absence of
certain necessary stages of development. In particular, the transition from the
hero stage of life into the wise elder and sovereign.
So whatís the real point of this post? Well,
first and foremost, itís to give
you some framework in which you can evolve into elderhood. And this while
feeling safe and secure in the knowledge that the transition through which you
are going is perfectly understood in terms of human evolution.
Indeed, this is probably an evolution which has
been experienced by every other single human being who has ever lived.
But in addition, I have another suggestion: you can control what happens to you rather than
allowing life to control you.