Many men who think they have a smaller penis than average are concerned about what a woman will think. But it seems that most woman don't care much about the size of their lover's penis, which in a way is understandable - it's not crucial to a woman's self esteem like it is to a man's. But what about sex - doesn't size make a difference in the pure pleasure of sexual intercourse? And what is the impact on a man's enjoyment of sex if a woman has a large or small vagina, for example? Here are a few comments on the subject.
Penis size and women's pleasure during sexual intercourse
When a man is saying he isn't sexually satisfied because of his size, I think he's really saying that neither he nor his sexual partner can be bothered to find a way to make sex good.
There are many things you can do to improve sex if your penis is on the small side of average - you can find the best sex positions to stimulate her G spot, for example, or you can get your partner to exercise her muscles so she has more muscle tone, and you can ask her to keep her legs closer together so that her vagina is clenched and exerts more pressure on your penis.
The problem, in essence, centers on penile girth, not length - most women don't like a long organ as it can bang their cervix, though in any case the most sensitive part of the vagina is the first two inches.
As for childbirth, some people would say that a vagina never goes back to the same size after childbirth, and I think this may be true (certainly those women with whom I have shared a bed who have not given birth have always given me slightly more pleasure that those who have had children) but generally a vagina with well-toned muscles is capable of exerting pressure on a penis no matter how big or small it may be.
If your penis is thin, for example: use the rear entry sex positions for sex and ask her to keep her legs together. Or make love in the missionary position and thrust really hard - this can be a loving way of having sex if there's an emotional connection between the partners. A third way for you to overcome the lack of sensation if your penile shaft is thin is to have your woman to squat over you and ride you while you lie on your back.
Lastly, any and every penis over two inches long is good for hitting a woman's G spot - and if you can stimulate this, you won't have anything to worry about her satisfaction.
All of this of course assumes that physical size is more important than a good personality match and a friendly and caring relationship, whereas in fact most women would prefer the latter any day over having a man in bed who is spectacularly well-endowed!
If you are really concerned about the risk of not getting full
sexual satisfaction because of your penis, then you can always try Tantric
sex to keep your passion intense. This is easily researched on the internet.
The only difficulty you will generally face is when your partner wants deep penetration, in which case you may not be to get as deeply inside her as she would wish. The woman on top sex position can be adapted so she is squatting over you and riding up and down your penile shaft.
An interesting question is whether a woman likes her cervix being touched during sex. Generally this is only exciting when a woman is very aroused - then she may find that having her cervix poked by her partner's penis is in fact incredibly stimulating.
Most of the time, it just hurts! This of course can be both an advantage and a disadvantage for men who are on the "short side", depending on how aroused his partner becomes during intercourse. Conversely, sexual problems can occur when the man is too big for the woman to feel comfortable.
As one man emailed: "My penis is nine inches long and six around, and when I had my first experience of sex I didn't get it anywhere near all the way in before she was crying out in pain.
And she was pretty well lubed, too, so the whole thing was a total shambles from start to finish. Since then I have learnt to keep much of my penis out of the vagina when I thrust, and I can assure you that having to remember to do this means sex is just not a relaxing affair. Maybe I haven't met the right partner yet - hopefully."
There are of course other options for sexual play if a man's cock is on the small side and his partner feels loose to him: for example, using a large dildo, or fisting, if that rather extreme sexual pursuit appeals to you. In all cases, a little imagination and compromise will go a long way to satisfying both partners.
Anal sex and penis size
One man emailed us to say: "I thought someone should point out one real benefit of a small penis: anal sex. My girlfriend's done anal with a couple of men but she said I was too big and it would hurt her too much. In all fairness when we did try it I was too big, meaning that she was only able to take it in one of the times we tried it, and that one of the times there was even a little blood.
Now my cock's not ridiculously big, and she was a tall girl, maybe 5' 10". So if we have this problem with my reasonable size and her generously sized body, it must be an even bigger no-no for couples where the man is better endowed than me and the woman is smaller than she is. This is a real let-down because I really enjoy the feeling of anal sex, and she says she has with more modestly sized men.
Penis size and oral sex
Very few women enjoy oral sex with a large penis. As one man emailed: "I am no stranger to sexual situations - in fact, in my twenty years of being sexually active I must have had sex with about fifty women, one way or another, and I can honestly tell you that a very small number of them were happy to engage in oral sex with my penis being a shade under seven inches long and really wide and thick.
The usual response - much to my disappointment, as I'm sure you can imagine - is that a woman will perhaps take the end of it in her mouth, and if I get excited and begin to thrust or try to encourage her to take more in her mouth, she will pretty quickly gag, refuse to try again, and leave me frustrated. And as for intercourse - well, I can tell you that on only three or four out of about ten times have I been able to successfully and comfortably make love to an Asian girl.
Even though we both wanted it very much, a large western penis does not fit into a small Asian vagina. As far as Caucasian women go, yes, it is true that the girth seems to be the main component for a woman's feeling during sex, and yes, length like mine can be a big drawback - you won't forget the reaction when your penis hits a woman's cervix during vigorous thrusting! All in all, to me the ideal penis would be one about five inches long and five and a half to six inches around."
In short,the only way that the penis that so many men dream about (a big one!) seems to be helpful is in filling the width of the vagina and giving the woman a feeling of fullness. Bigger may be more satisfying for a man because it imbues his penis with a kind of power that makes him feel more masculine and dominant during sex, but it certainly won't increase the pleasure he gets from his orgasm.
In any case, women's vaginas are not all the same: my girlfriend has had two kids, but her vagina is still tight and youthful. Her friend, by contrast, has a very slack and loose vagina, after only one child, and clearly these two women would not have the same sexual experience with a small penis - or a large one, for that matter.
If you get pleasure when you masturbate, you will get pleasure when you have sex with someone. There are many ways of getting sexual pleasure which do not all depend on your dick size!
You can select
the best sex positions for
you and your partner, for example, while taking into account your anatomy. Why don't
you set out to become the greatest lover you can be - this may mean, for
example, becoming an expert in cunnilingus. There are many women out there
who would much prefer to have a man who gave them good head than an inconsiderate
lover with an overly impressive penis!
I'm unhappy with my penis - what do I do?
Well, there are only two options: learn to live with it, perhaps with the help of a support group, or try one of the many programs which claim to give you greater volume, breadth or length. Penis support groups:
Penis and vagina size - what difference does an inch make?
When a woman's not sexually aroused, her vagina's unlikely to be more than 3 inches long, and it's hardly ever more than 4 inches. It's true that as she gets more sexually aroused her vagina swells and lengthens, but even at the peak of sexual arousal, the average vaginal length before penetration is a mere 5 inches. So, you may ask, what happens when a woman takes all of a well-endowed man inside her?
And here's the interesting thing - a woman's vagina can expand to as much as 8 inches in length during the penetration of a penis (or anything else that happens to be in there!) if she happens to be very aroused, but taking a penis this long would be stretching it to the point of discomfort for most women.
And some of this apparent increase from five to eight inches is due to the uterus moving up and tipping back, so that the man's penis can effectively slide under the cervix as he thrusts. Should he hit the cervix, most women would find it painful.
There's another interesting fact about vaginas that few men know - they're most sensitive within two inches of the opening. That's right: a mere two inches. Beyond that there are a lot fewer nerve endings.
So, unless she's a real size queen, a woman's likely to be satisfied with the length of her man's erection, even if he's as short as four inches. Could it be, then, that deep penetration is all about male desire, not female? Could it just be that men value penile length because they want to penetrate deep into their lover, not because they're worried about failing to satisfy her?
In any survey of female sexual satisfaction, penile girth or circumference seems to feature much more often than issues of penile length. But before we look at this, there are certain sex positions which can help men with very long or very short erections - and their partners - to have a better time.
If you're short, say less than five inches, the best position for you is man on top, perhaps with your partner's ass on a cushion so that her hips are raised.
This way you'll get good penetration and be able to hit her G-spot - the most sensitive area of her vagina. You're even better placed to tickle her fancy if your penis curves upwards, as it will naturally hit her G-spot as you thrust. If your penis is more of a straight pole, then raising her hips will help you hit her pleasure point.
If you're over six inches long, don't thrust too deeply or you may hit her cervix. One good way to avoid this is to let her ride you, woman on top style, so she can control the depth and angle of penetration.
So now, what of penile girth? Well, the vagina is not a hollow tube - its walls normally lie closed up against each other, and they only part when a penis or finger pushes its way in. So - let's be clear about this - your penis pushes in between the walls of her vagina which then bounce back to press against the skin of your penis. That's true whether you're thrusting or just lying still with your penis inside your partner.
Amazing, isn't it? Once again, men's concerns with their penises may be more about the belief that they need a super-sized erection to satisfy a woman than the realities of what gives her sexual pleasure. Truth is, if you think she's loose around you, or you can't feel anything, it's much more likely to be about lubrication than size.
A really horny women can be so wet that you lose the sensation of tightness than comes from her vaginal walls sliding with some friction on your penis. When her vagina's too wet, there's less friction, less sensation and less pleasure - for both of you. It's not a matter of how big you are - it's more a matter of how slippery things have become!
In the end, then, men can rest easy, knowing that size just isn't an issue for most women. But if your penis is small and you lack confidence (it does happen!), the answer may be to learn some sexual techniques that give you the edge in bed: remember, most women simply love oral sex, and if you make her come while you give her head, she's going to adore you as a lover - regardless of what your penis looks like!
I don't think there is a straight answer to the question, "does size matter?" The very idea of an average is a purely mathematical one, and what use is it as a concept anyway? For all the range and variation of the human penis, there is a similar range of variations in vagina, clitoris and vulva (and indeed in what women want).
The real problem is not that female partners don't exist or don't want men with small cocks; it's that men have traditionally been the ones to go out and get the woman, not the other way around and, whatever you have between your legs, it can take a lot of balls to be confident enough to go and look for sexual experience with a woman.
In short, size is important only when it is important to an individual. Socially, between men, it may matter in the locker room. Psychologically, it matters to many men and a few women. But this really comes down to an individual's own system of values and beliefs; for example, when a man has pinned his self-esteem or his masculinity onto his penis, it will certainly matter to him. All in all, this is much more a male issue than a female issue.