So that first sexual encounter with a new
partner approaches? Have you given any thought to what was once euphemistically
known as protection? In other words, have you bought your condoms?
First, though, to state the obvious: a
condom is a sheath of latex or polyurethane (the latter is useful for those with latex allergies)
which fits over the erect penis from top to bottom and contains a reservoir into
which the semen is ejaculated when the man reaches his orgasm.
So far, so good. This is barrier
contraception, since the condom forms a barrier between the ejaculating penis
and the inside of the woman's vagina (or anywhere else the penis happens to be,
If used correctly the effectiveness of a condom as a method of birth
control is high, and it offers pretty much total protection from the HIV virus
and STIs (aka sexually transmitted infections).
The sad thing is that condoms are needed
because people carry infections. You wouldn't think it, would you? But
there you are. People carry diseases, and sometimes they don't even know it.
Anyhow, back to the condom. Condoms are
made in factories where they are subject to rigorous testing - usually being
filled with liquid in quantities not even the most copious ejaculator could
match, or being blown up like a balloon to see when they burst. They should, therefore,
be pretty reliable in practice.
Unhappily, they do occasionally burst during
use, especially if they're being subject to unusual friction. So make sure
there's plenty of lube around as you thrust - either her natural vaginal lube or some artificial lube like
Probe or Astroglide is fine. Even though some condoms bill themselves as ready-lubed for intercourse, in my experience this isn't much use.
When you unroll a condom onto your penis,
there are a few simple rules to follow. You need to squeeze the reservoir at the
tip to exclude any air, then you place the rolled-up condom over the glans of your
erect penis, before unrolling it down the shaft.
Done as a part of
sex play, this can be very exciting (it means: you're about to get some pussy!). Problems
will arise if you get the condom inside out (it won't unroll), so check it's the
right way round first, and if she's putting it on you, make sure
she's practiced first. Indeed, why not get a cucumber and have a practice
session together on the vegetable before you try it for real.
If nothing else,
it might give you a laugh, and she can always use it as a dildo if she's feeling
I mentioned lube. An important thing to remember
is this: DON'T use any oil-based products to make your sex slippery, as it will
degrade the condom faster than even a premature ejaculation can fill its sperm
You can use oil with polyurethane condoms, of
course, since polyurethane doesn't have the same sensitivity as latex.
In case you're in any doubt, it will say on
the box if a condom is made of polyurethane, so only use oil if you see the word
polyurethane. For example, don't get any massage oil onto the condom if you've
been having an erotic massage session.
Thankfully these days modern technology
has delivered unto us ultra thin condoms whose sensitivity is very high and in
which your penis won't be deprived of much of its sensitivity. I should add,
though, that condoms do reduce a man's pleasure during sex: that's a fact, and
you have to live with it if you want the protection that goes with the barrier.
The question arises - would a thinner condom mean a
man was just as aroused during intercourse as if he wasn't wearing one, and, if
so, would he ejaculate normally, or would he still have a slightly lower level
of stimulation due to the condom, and would that help him to slow down, last
longer during sex, ejaculate later, and therefore act as a kind of premature ejaculation treatment? Feedback would be helpful here if you have any
experience in the matter!
What else? Well, if you happen to be a
premature ejaculator, you can find condoms with a mild anesthetic coating. This
may make you last longer, but it will also numb your penis, and if the anesthetic
is on the outside of the condom, it may well give your partner a numb vagina
too. She'll not thank you for that.
Once you've done the deed, you need to
remove your penis from her vagina before it goes limp, keeping a good hold of
the condom so you don't leave it behind, ready to leak out the semen.
Other thoughts: don't try and reuse a
condom; don't keep them near heat; don't use one if it's past its best-before
date; and if you can't face the clerk in the store, buy them on-line. But why
you should be embarrassed is a mystery: almost everyone has sex, you know.
What of the vexed question of size? Well,
you certainly need a condom that fits your penis, since if the condom's too big
it may slip off, and if it's too small, it may feel uncomfortably tight around your
penis. It isn't true that one size fits all. You can get much more information
here on the size issue:
An interesting prophylactic product is the
female condom. It fits inside a woman's vagina and is held in place by a
flexible ring which sits outside her vulva. (It's better than it sounds,
honestly). The great advantage is that a woman can take responsibility for her
safety as well as his. I've never tried this, but it certainly could be a good
way of enjoying more natural sex - the female condom is made of polyurethane and
it feels much more natural than a latex condom on your penis.
Finally, to all you women out there: don't
allow a guy to persuade you to have sex without a condom. Sure, it can be
difficult: you fancy him, you don't want to lose him, he tells you he's tested
and clean, etc, etc. No way. Use a condom. He might be lying just so he can get
sex from you.